Every day that PICU nurse's go to work, they change a life in some way or another. Sometimes, the changes are miniscule. Other times, you can see a big turn around in a 12 hour shift. I am not going to focus on the day to day "miracles." The ones that will help to fully describe what I do, are big changes.
The first time I realized how amazing my job is, I was taking care of a kid following a reconstructive airway surgery. This kiddo had a tracheostomy for his whole life and came to get that reversed so that he can be a normal kid. In Cincinnati, it is a very common procedure, so it's easy to forget the significance. I realized how life changing that procedure was when the mother told me that her child will get to go swimming for the first time that summer. It's too much of a safety issue to swim with a hole in your neck! We take such little things for granted! I spent the entire summer at the pool and this child hadn't been swimming once in their life. They can safely have bubble baths and play in the sprinkler- such important pieces of childhood! I was so glad that I took care of that patient, so that the mom could open my eyes!
Another time I really felt the significance of what I do, involved a very sick little girl. She had received a bone marrow transplant and was doing terribly. I had formed a bond with the family, so I signed up to be her primary nurse. My little patient was not about to form a bond with a nurse, but I loved taking care of her anyway. =) I took care of her during some of her very sick days, and expected for her to be sick for a very long time. I thought her future was bleak. I had a good stretch of days off at one point. I fully expected to have the busiest of busy days upon my return. I actually went to bed early and ate a healthy breakfast (we all know that none of that ever happens... at least for me...). In report that morning, I was told a tale unbelievable to my ears! Where is the ventilator? The dialysis? This spunky little girl had pulled through! Everyday following that one, new amazing things would happen. I knew then, that I was going to push her and get her out of that unit! I would not let her fail, or I would fail myself. One of the my favorite days, my little patient was very tired, but occupational and physical therapy stopped by her room. The patient's mom asked many times for them to stop by and I wasn't going to let them get away. Mom had stepped away for a bit and left grandma in charge. Grandma being a grandma, really pushed to let her nap. I encouraged her to let my patient try. Finally, she caved and let her get therapy. At first, my little patient was quite grumpy about the experience. We placed her on a mat on the floor (probably one of the first few times she'd really been out of bed in weeks) with the intention of her cutting out shapes and simply improving dexterity by reaching and being in control of her hands. The first few minutes were absolutely terrible. Poor grandma had already said several times that we should put her back to bed. I was trying everything to get her to be happy and enjoy therapy. Finally, I pulled the computer in the room down to her level, and played the video her dad made of her. She was captivated. I'm pretty sure that was the first time I saw her smile! I had already seen the video, and I knew why it was made. After that, she started to get into therapy. It worked out pretty well! That same week, she was walking around in her room hiding fish for her grandma to find. It was super cute... I didn't know that 3 year old's knew how to use "psst" appropriately! Those kind of days are when you know you were part of something special. Her mother checks in every once in a while. She will send a new video for us to watch of her doing choreographed dance moves. It's so cute! On days when I am struggling to find meaning to the difficulty of my job, I watch her video.
There are days that I don't understand how things happen to children. I have seen a lot of terrible things. Those are the stories people give me the pity face for. I am sorry for those people to not see the good things- to not be a part of the miracles that happen every day in the PICU.
What do you say when people say "I could never do what you do. I love kids too much. I would cry all the time". I hate it! It's like UHHHH I like kids too! Don't act superior to me or pretend like you like kids more than I do because I can handle the PICU and you can't!
ReplyDeletePlease, please, please say, "Oh, it's easy for me, I don't personally like children!" I would love to see the look on their face! hehehehe. It is a hard job, I give them that.
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